Where are you, my love?

Since I felt Okami’s last wave of life leave his body, I have been wondering where his soul has gone. I know that it is with me, but I cannot help but try to find the new body it has inhabited or will inhabit.

I saw two dogs that appeared at a shelter in Tucson that look remarkably similar to my Okami. Could it be him? But those dogs are nearly three years old.

The woman who runs the rescue where we found Okami sent me a video of husky puppies. In the entire litter, there was one male. Could this be my Okami? These puppies are seven weeks old, though.

I don’t think reincarnation works that way, Rich tells me.

How does reincarnation work? Rich tells me. The Tibetan Buddhists believe it takes a certain amount of time for a soul to move from one body to another. Okami would have had to kick out the soul that has already inhabited this puppy.

Does reincarnation really have rules? I ask. It seems like something that would be somewhat mysterious and unpredictable.

Unless, I told him, because he knew he was going to die, he found a way to inhabit both bodies temporarily.

It feels like a sign that such a new life would come to the same rescue. Okami always followed me everywhere I went to make sure I was safe. He would send his soul to a place where he knows I will look for him. I think it could be in this puppy.

Rich and my dad worries that I am rushing my grief.

You honor Okami by mourning for him, Rich tells me.

I have been crying nonstop for three days, I say. And I am so lonely and deep desire to give all of my love to someone who needs it.

I feel a strong push and pull and also a kind of desperation to find Okami’s soul. Can one body hold two souls? Perhaps, he chose to join me. I would welcome him with open arms. Rich tells me Okami is my familiar.

I believe that whatever dog I find will be Okami’s way of finding me. I just need to trust in our connection and love for each other.

I may just be a heartbroken person looking for my lost love who left me far too soon.

In the end, nothing matters but what is in my own heart, and that is what I will discover and honor.

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