It’s all for the best

It can be challenging to translate jokes and slang from one language to another. Sarcasm can be especially tricky. For example, in a recent post about first impressions of Rome, I made a comparison that was what I would call “tongue in cheek” (i.e., a bit facetious and not entirely serious) comparing driving in Rome with driving in Boston as a result of so many Italian immigrants settling in Boston so many years ago.


When my husband and I met an Italian friend and her partner for dinner on our last night in Rome, she asked me about it, and I tried to explain that it was really a joke and not meant as a criticism of this city that now holds a very special place in my heart. We also had a long conversation about a phrase that my husband and I use quite often to help ease the stress from challenges we have been experiencing this year.


My husband has told me many stories about his grandpa Earl, who used to say, “It’s all for the best” when something perhaps less than enticing came to pass in one’s life.


We talked about this phrase and how it would be used for both present and future in the English language but mostly in response to something happening that runs counter to our hoped for outcomes for the plans we make in life.


For example, I have said to my husband many times, What if my house doesn’t sell this summer? To which he has responded, It’s all for the best.


It is really all for the best? Perhaps, not, but the phrase denotes a kind of glass half full mentality. Would it be more pleasant for my house to sell? Of course. Is it the end of the world if it doesn’t? I suppose not, and my husband assures me that at some point it will come to pass, it is only a matter of time.


I know from experience that most of my life plans have to come to pass in very different (often wildly different) variations than I could have anticipated. I think I would generally agree that the way my life has unfolded in reality fits with Grandpa Earl’s philosophy, even if it takes close to a decade at times to see the benefit.


For some experiences in my life, I think the glass is not necessarily half empty or half full. It just has water in it. There is not necessarily any meaning to derive, unless perhaps the meaning for my house in Alaska is that it is better to rent than to own, which at this point I would tend to agree with.


Our friends tried to find an accurate translation for this phrase, but we never did find one that offered the same overall meaning. I think this is reasonable, especially considering how very different Italian and English are and that the cultures and experiences of each individual are different. I asked my husband about his Grandpa Earl’s life and how this phrase might have come to be, but he wasn’t sure. Regardless, it is a meaningful way to keep someone alive in spirit. I wish I could have met Grandpa Earl. I would certainly ask him about this phrase.


Speaking of phrases and their meanings, at the airport in Rome yesterday I noticed a man wearing a t-shirt that I found fairly alarming and more than a little offensive. We were waiting in line to prepare for boarding when I saw a relatively short man with a serious beard sporting an olive green t-shirt with the words KILL ALL PIGEONS in capital letter and the image of a pigeon nestled between them.


The capital letters alone were fairly shocking, and the message was one that cut straight to my creature-loving heart (not to mention that I was travel weary and exhausted from the extreme heat and humidity). Only a few days before, I had shared my admiration for the city pigeon (aka, the Rock Pigeon, formerly known as Rock Dove for birders). I had been talking with a colleague my husband had met at the conference he was attending at John Cabot University. The conference was titled Beyond Humanism, and presenters shared ideas about transhumanism, posthumanism, and the state of the Human Enhancement Debate (my husband’s topic of choice) in the ever-changing relationship between humans and technology.


It was the first night of the conference, and I had joined my husband and his colleagues for a pizza dinner. He had already presented on the panel with two other men, who were also from Belgium. We all chatted together for the entire evening, which was lovely. When I noticed a lizard on the wall, I exclaimed in delight, disrupting the conversation and shifting the subject matter to the rights of other beings.


My husband’s colleague, who was seated to my left, admitted that he had seen the lizard earlier on the floor between our seats but had decided not to say anything because he couldn’t remember the English word for lizard. I suggested that the next time he could just point because I would always be to witness a creature of any kind. We then began talking about animals and the different creatures we had seen in the river Tiber, the state of pollution in the river, which apparently is the repository for household waste even today in Rome. He told me how in one city (I can’t remember if it was Brussels or in France) there were so many pigeons that the police decided to shoot many of them. A man thought it was wasteful to just kill them without eating them so he ate one, and he got very sick. My husband’s colleague said something about all of the horrible things that must be inside of city pigeons, and I began my own so soliloquy on my love and admiration for these creatures.


They’re able to survive such incredible odds, I had shared with my husband’s colleague. Just that afternoon, I had witnessed a pigeon with one knobby foot, hobbling around and another with thread or something wrapped around one foot (this can lead cause them to lose their toes if the thread gets wound so tight it cuts off circulation). I would’ve loved to of free the pigeon’s foot, but I would have had to get closer to it, and this was likely not going to happen.


Pigeons are so amazing, I continued and then spoke of how people in the United States refer to them as “rats with wings,” much to my dismay. I think it’s because people don’t want to see the beings on the edge that are struggling to survive. For me, this is no different than turning a blind eye to homeless people.

Ah, my husband’s colleague had responded. So you must be the post humanist who believes in the rights of animals, people, and machines.

Well, I pondered, I’m not sure about the rights of machines, but I think I can find sentience in almost anything. Trees, plants, animals. Why not machines?


Back to the airport, now that you know where I stand with regard to pigeons, you can imagine my horror at seeing such a blatantly violent t-shirt.


Watch him sit right next to me on the plane, I whispered to my husband.


Well, he didn’t sit directly next to me on the plane, but he was sitting in the aisle seat in the row opposite us, which was close enough in my estimation. When we landed and I was standing right next to him, waiting to disembark from the plane, I grappled with whether or not to say anything to him. It was one of those moments where I knew if I didn’t say anything I would always wonder what would inspire a person to wear such an awful article of clothing.


So I asked, first in English and then in French (when he didn’t respond), You don’t like pigeons?


To which he responded (in French), Not particularly, no.


Why? Did you have a bad experience with pigeons?


No, I just don’t like them. I don’t like gulls either.


Do you have a t-shirt against gulls as well? I asked.


No, but if they made one I would certainly buy it.


Ah, well, I am going to create a t-shirt that saves, Save the pigeons and gulls, I said.


He laughed at this, andI went to share my theory of how amazing pigeons are for being able to survive in such horrible living conditions.


He replied that he thought pigeons were dirty and plague-riddled and therefore not worthy of living.


Well, it is not their choice to live this way, I replied, and that they are able to survive is incredible. I find them to be extraordinary! This comment elicited a laugh and a smile from the woman who had been sitting next to me and was now standing in the aisle beside us.


He seemed to consider this but was unrelenting in his distaste for pigeons and gulls.


To each person, their preference, I said, but I love pigeons and all birds. We ended the discussion on a positive note, each wishing the other a pleasant evening and continuation of travel.


I had wanted to say that there were many people who lived in similarly awful conditions as pigeons and who it was easy to judge, though I am certain it was not their choice or specific desire to wind up living on the street, but I can’t always figure out how to form these phrases in French at the opportune moment so I didn’t say anything. On the bus ride from the plane to the terminal, I figured out how I could say this, but at this point I wanted to focus my attention on getting home as quickly as possible.



As the bus sped its way to the terminal, I thought about pigeons and other birds that people despise like gulls and starlings. I tried to imagine despising them as well, but I could not find any room in my heart for hatred. Now, if I could only find this way to love all people unconditionally, I would be farther along on my path to enlightenment. I am not there yet, though.


I think what I found so shocking about the shirt was the wearers ease with taking the life of another being. I suppose that being a kind of human version of the Lorax, I would find this disturbing, whereas the wearer thought of it as a kind of joke. I did not find it funny at all, however. I found it to be gravely serious and also indicative of a propensity for humankind to place itself at the top of the proverbial food chain and with the right to determine the fate of other lesser species and systems, which are really only on this planet for us to consume and use as we will. In my opinion, his shirt could have had the same words but replaced pigeon with homeless people, Jews, Muslims, etc. and communicated a similar sentiment, but I am not sure he would have been able to see the connection.


I think what it comes down to is choice and perspective. When I was growing up, the father of one of my childhood friends in our town was a member of a committee whose sole purpose was to find ways to get rid of the Canada Geese that were “polluting” the beach at a local lake, thereby “ruining” it for the people who wishes to enjoy it. I don’t think there was much admittance for the fact that humans had created the perfect habitat for them, so there was no longer any need for them to migrate. I also don’t think the members of the committee considered that the lake had been home to Canada Geese and many of species of birds and animals long before the arrival of humans or that these creatures had as much of a right to spend time on its shores as we did.


No. Sadly, the geese were just a problem to be solved. As a child, I didn’t really question the perspective of the committee or even the matter of its existence. Since paying closer attention to the lives of other species, however, my own perspective has shifted to embrace the rights of all beings to a sustainable, thriving existence. Knowing that this shift is possible, I know that there is hope for humankind. I just wish this shift could happen for more people, particularly those in places of power, who could just as easily wield their influence toward a healthier, happier planet as they do toward the opposite extreme.

In Rome, I witnessed both ends of the spectrum with regard to the human dynamic and treatment of other animals. The saddest moment for me was bearing witness to a dog that was lying in full sun on one of the walkways bordering the River Tiber. The dog was chained to the wall on a short lead, and while there were bowls with both food and water, I could see the large swath or red, raw skin around the dogs neck.


Can I take him? I had texted my husband.


My husband had responded, There seems to be more animal suffering the closer to the equator you get as well. Nepal and Mexico come to mind.


I had walked across the bridge, stopping periodically to watch the poor creature. At one point, I was not even certain it was alive until I saw one of its ears flick at what must have been an insect.


When I reached the other side, I looked across and saw a tent city under the bridge with dogs in similar states of neglect (at least the others were in the shade). Overcome by emotion and a feeling of helplessness to put an end to the suffering of another being, I began sobbing, tears streaming down my face. I am sure my exhausting from the heat of Rome in July didn’t help. I gave in completely to the intense sadness welling up from within, and I wept all the way to the university to meet my husband for lunch.


My husband consoled me by talking about the Buddhist approach to the suffering of the world and how it can be an opportunity to work on ourselves. He told me that while he knew it was a more difficult path to walk, my sensitive heart was something that he deeply loved about me.


I got you a present, I had told him after I had finally stopped weeping.


Does it have four legs, he had asked, laughing.


Yes, but it fits in my bag, though there are definitely four-leggeds here that I could have fit into my bag.


I periodically inform/remind my husband that I wanted a wolf dog ( I had not so secretly been hoping that perhaps I might just come across one in need of a home as I wandered the streets of Rome during our visit to the ancient city).


Life is long, my husband always responded, and I would harumph at him.


A few days after the incident with the dog by the river, we were walking to meet friends for dinner at a restaurant in a neighborhood near our hotel. Walking by the river, we had passed a woman who was placing tins of food down for several stray cats.


Grazie, I had said to her as we passed by, and she had said something in Italian. As she left the cats to their meal, I heard her say to them, A domani (Until tomorrow). My heart filled with such joy to witness this interaction between human and cat. In the wake of a world filled with suffering, this small moment might appear inconsequential; however, to me it is gestures like this that provide hope for the world.


I think there must be an appreciation and even affection among Romans for those creatures beyond human beings for their own history claims its origins from the brothers Romulus and Remus, who suckled at the teat of a wolf at the tenuous beginnings of their own lives.

In Rome, I had witnessed many pigeons posing for the camera by sitting atop the many beautiful fountains located around every corner of the city. People were more than happy to take their photos, reminding me that not all people wish to see them dead.


When I do see mistreatment of animals, I try my best not to place judgment but simply to bear witness to what I see and to send love to those creatures so evidently in need, but it is not easy. I know that each being is on its own path and there is often not very much I can do to create ease for its journey, so I try to send love from my own heart to those beings and to help them as I am able. I could easily have chosen the path of a street animal in another life. Perhaps, it is part of the reason why I feel such endearment toward other creatures inhabiting this life path.


I know that I cannot save every creature or fix the suffering of the world. However, I can and will continue to pick up trash, carry still living abused creatures to a safer, quieter place, and remove those who have suffered a less pleasant fate from the street to a more peaceful resting place.


I’m not sure that putting an end to all of the pigeons would encompass Grandpa Earl’s phrase.


I say, Vive les pigeons!


Long live the resilient pigeon!

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2 thoughts on “It’s all for the best

  1. Strange to dislike those creatures who figure out how to live among us. There would’t be so many successful edge animals if humans weren’t so dedicated to creating hard divisions between themselves and nature.

    Perhaps it’s a reflection of how trapped they feel living and working in the city? Maybe they identify in a way they don’t yet recognize?

  2. I know! I find it really fascinating. Humans are very good at creating divisions among their own kind as well. I remember a little tea bag saying I found that read: “By nature, people are close to each other, but by habit, they are apart.” Habits are difficult to break, but it is possible. ❤

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